I so wanted to be the perfect wife – the one that could “do it all” – have a baby, lose the weight, breast feed like it was easy as pie, play with Liam and Skyler on demand, and, most importantly, have the energy to show Leif how much I adore and appreciate him on his birthday!  The plan was to wake up and shower him with love and attention – making sure he felt like he was my first priority.  I was going to make him breakfast in bed, give him a back massage, support him in going to crossfit, take him to lunch with the kids, and then have a whole romantic evening to ourselves.

Reality check – we had a baby 12 days ago.  Breasfeeding is not easy.  We are not getting much sleep despite the fact that this newborn is nearly perfect in every way.  I feel guilty about not having enough time for Liam and Skyler.  We discovered a lump in my breast in the hospital and have been waiting to get an ultrasound to make sure it is nothing to worry about.  And then, to top it all off – I woke up on Leif’s birthday with mastitis.  I was in so much pain that all I could do was sob to Leif.  It was worse than the c-section.  I literally could not touch my chest without bursting into tears.

And so, I ended up at the doctors that morning for antibiotics, sleeping all afternoon while Ted and Stephanie watched the kids, not going to lunch, not showering Leif in love and attention, and pretty much failing in all I had set out to do.  With one exception – we were able to go to dinner that night, drink some wine, and have a really good time (until 8:30 when I fell soundly asleep).

Happy Birthday Leif.  I feel so incredibly blessed that we are celebrating your birthday together this year – regardless of how the day went!  I love you with all my heart.